⏳ The Tight-Five Timer, your set, by the clock
Rehearse the way the night will run it: pick a slot, the classic five, ten or fifteen, or set your own in minutes and seconds, and I'll flash the one-minute signal from the back of the room. Prefer to ramble beautifully? Let it count up instead.
❀ ⋆ DING! ⋆ ❀
♛ BY ROYAL DECREE OF THE GRANDMASHIP ♛
You did it!
curtsy, wave, exit stage left ♡
💗 Love-a-Heckler, turn the boos into hearts
Space hypothesis: a heckle is just a human asking to be loved, loudly. So I built a love ray. Hecklers pop up in the crowd shouting rude things, sweep the ray over them and fire kindness to melt the meanness into hearts. And remember: sometimes they mean no harm at all, sometimes they were only trying to help you out. So love them; love them all. Pick 30 or 60 Earth seconds and go. No hecklers were harmed; several were hugged.
Be quick & be kind, a loved heckler becomes your biggest fan. ♥
🥊 Punch-Nine, punch it up to nine
Earth comedians say a good joke gets "punched up." Pinkoma took that literally and built a machine. Every punchline lands with a force, and the perfect one is exactly 9: softer is a "hmm", a 10 is showing off, an 11 blows the amp. Freeze the meter on nine, Earthling.
Tip: the space bar and the 9 key punch too. Five swings per round.