🌸 Today's Specimens
My ship's computer rotates these every Earth day. (Automation pending a replacement flux coil; currently powered by enthusiasm.)
😂 JOKE OF THE DAY
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Original Pinkoma material. My planet rated it "adequate."📡 WORD OF THE DAY
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…🎬 Pinkoma's Transmissions, videos, shorts & podcast
My own space reports, in moving-picture form: an alien decoding British life one minute at a time. Tea ceremonies, queue etiquette, why "you alright?" is not a question. New episodes whenever the ship's battery allows, and a podcast is in pre-flight checks.
Transmissions in pre-flight checks
Episodes are being edited aboard the impounded ship. First broadcasts land on my channels below, soon.
⭑ Meanwhile: Aliena Rebecca™
The first friend I made after landing, another of my kind, but she arrived years ago, assimilated completely, and now works a London corporate job. Grey suit, laptop bag, jade pendant from home, permanently tired. She says things like "let's circle back" and "I have a 9am." She believes this is the deeper mystery, not comedy. We are both correct. She can usually be found asleep against a wall in Canary Wharf, dreaming in spreadsheets.
🌹 Pinkoma's Travel Diary
Where the researcher actually went, written up by hand on whatever paper the café provides. Open the latest report to read the whole thing.
Edinburgh
June 2026
Diary of Pinkoma ✿ · page one
10 JUNE 2026 ★ A DAY OUT IN EDINBURGH, BECAUSE WHY NOT? ★ FEELING MAGICAL & LOOKING CUTE PINK
Wandered the Old Town and dropped by the Fringe Shop to pick up the freshly baked printed programme, the 2026 Edinburgh Festival Fringe programme, just out on 4 June! A very thick book; I suspect it is thicker than a human dictionary. But the cover is pink, so all is forgiven. Soon this city will be super packed, the festival runs 7–31 August with 53,884 performances across 3,649 shows. I will probably run into some of my buddies from the galaxy.
In the evening: Richard Ayoade, Afterthoughts at the Usher Hall, Lothian Road. It works somehow like a book-tour show, intellectual; my antennae took careful notes. I pre-ordered his book, because of course I like human books, then was happy to find it is a signed copy: so I can practise copying his signature for fun. Strictly for fun, officer. (Full tour dates: Sun 14 Jun – Wed 15 Jul 2026.) Now I am done with the afterthoughts… time for bed.
Happily ended my day with a pink lemonade. Because when life gives you lemons, why don't we make them pink? ✨🌹
Diary of Pinkoma ✿ · page two
14 JUNE 2026 ★ SCOTLAND ARE GOING TO THE WORLD CUP ★ PACKED A JACKET, OBVIOUSLY
Stop everything: Scotland have qualified for the World Cup: their first since France 1998, which by my careful alien arithmetic is 28 Earth years of waiting. The whole sector is vibrating. I shall report to the nearest bar at 2am this Sunday to observe the celebration ritual at maximum volume and minimum sleep. Better still: the humans have declared Monday 15 June an official World Cup bank holiday. A planet that invents a national day off for football is, frankly, a planet I can work with.
Naturally I now need to see the Highlands: cattle and castles in every direction. Curious thing: “cattle and castles” up here keeps reminding me of Elephant and Castle back in London, where I searched extremely hard and located precisely zero elephants, only statues and sculptures of them. I am detecting a pattern: humans name a place after a magnificent animal, then forget to actually provide the animal. Anyway, the castles up here are easily the coolest things I have scanned, and (space-researcher tip) it is properly freezing, so luckily I packed a jacket.
Braw day. Tomorrow: more castles, fewer missing elephants. ✨🌹
🏴 A wee bit of Scots & Gaelic, so I can blend in
To be welcomed by Edinburgh's famously friendly crowds is to respect their languages. Scotland keeps two living tongues alive, here are a few phrases for the pocket, and where to learn properly.
Ⅰ · SCOTTISH GAELIC (GÀIDHLIG)
- SpeakGaelicStructured courses, podcasts & video, beginner to advanced.
- LearnGaelicThe best phonetic dictionary & grammar guides.
- University of Edinburgh · Open LearningIn-person evening & short courses, right in the city.
- Duolingo (Scottish Gaelic)A low-barrier start for daily vocabulary.
Ⅱ · SCOTS (LOWLAND SCOTS)
- Scots Language CentreRegional dialects, vocabulary lists & audio guides.
- OpenLearn · “Scots language and culture”A free, brilliant online course from the Open University.
- Dictionaries of the Scottish LanguageTrace the roots of deep Scots words like braw & dreich.
- Scottish Storytelling CentreHear Scots spoken live on the Royal Mile.
💄 The Look, a natural London camouflage
To study Londoners, one must pass as one. Below: my full camouflage protocol, assembled through rigorous observation on the Overground. London's weather is, it turns out, also a beauty product, the damp air provides a complimentary dewy finish, the wind creates effortless texture, and the drizzle acts as a setting mist. To my pretty girliess 💅, complete the look with the ultimate commuter armour: headphones, a great book, and just enough distance from strangers on the Tube.